Most advice around eating focuses on discipline, portions, and calories. But there’s one powerful piece we’ve been missing especially when it comes to how to reduce cravings for good.
It’s the fact that cravings have a reason that is actually there to protect us.
We rarely think of an addiction when we speak of binge eating or overeating.
We think we can fix it by using more willpower and control. But this couldn’t be further from the truth.
Learn more about emotional eating and how it’s connected to survival patters.
What we’ve been told about eating is too simple
We’ve learned to see food as fuel.
Calories in, calories out.
If you gain weight, you ate too much. So you try to eat less.
Sound familiar?
But many women 45+ eat less than ever – and still feel tired, gain belly fat, or lose control around food.
It’s not because of willpower.
It’s because we’ve left out one powerful piece of the puzzle:
Your nervous system.
Your nervous system decides how food feels – and what happens next
You may not “see” it, but your nervous system is always asking:
- Am I safe or under threat?
- Can I relax and receive – or do I need to brace and protect?
- Is now the time to digest – or fight, flee, freeze?
If your system is in stress mode, it won’t fully allow nourishment in.
Even if you eat “healthy,” your body won’t feel it.
And that’s when cravings often kick in – not because you’re broken,
but because your system still feels unsatisfied.
So what is the nervous system, really? (No science degree needed)
Think of it like your body’s internal safety detector.
It constantly scans your environment and your inner world:
- Are you calm or tense?
- Rushed or grounded?
- Alone or supported?
And then it adjusts:
- Your digestion
- Your appetite
- Your ability to feel satisfied
It’s not just about what you eat, but how your body receives it.
That’s one of the reasons why it is so hard to change eating habits just like choosing a new skirt.
Curious about how it get’s easier to eat in a way that feels calm and relaxed? Check out this piece about the Hidden Reason Change Feels So Hard
The missing link: Eating in a way that signals safety
If your body doesn’t feel safe, it won’t rest, digest, or trust that nourishment is coming.
But when you eat in a way that gently signals calm and safety, everything changes.
- Your system relaxes.
- Digestion works better.
- You start feeling full and satisfied – without needing to “control” your eating.
Why warm food makes such a big difference
Warm food sends a deep signal: You’re cared for.
It’s soothing, grounding, and easier to digest – especially in times of stress.
Imagine a warm soup, a creamy porridge, or a gentle stew –
now compare that to a cold salad eaten standing up in the kitchen.
One tells your body: You matter.
The other? Not so much.
Warm, nourishing meals help your body register the act of eating – so it doesn’t keep asking for more later.
Regular meals = a calm nervous system
Irregular eating, skipping breakfast, or “just coffee” in the morning might seem harmless.
But to your body, it feels like unpredictability – and unpredictability = stress.
Your system needs rhythm.
When meals are predictable and consistent, your body stops bracing.
It starts to trust: „More is coming. I don’t need to panic.“
This alone can dramatically reduce cravings and late-night eating.
Find out more on how small steps can actually help to stop binge eating slowly – but with you feeling actually good while doing it.
But what if I’m not hungry – or don’t feel like eating?
This is common in women who’ve spent years overriding their needs.
When your nervous system is in survival mode, it can actually shut down hunger as a protective mechanism.
It doesn’t mean you don’t need food – it means you’re not yet able to receive it.
Try this instead:
- A soft, warm, gentle meal (like a broth with egg, or creamy oatmeal)
- No pressure. No rules. Just a signal of safety.
- Focus less on “checking your appetite” – and more on asking:
What would feel like kindness right now?
And – try some easy somatic tools. Which means – getting in touch with our body. Find out how it can work for you with these 5 minute tools, that actually can take even less time to help.
Why you shouldn’t starve yourself – especially if you struggle with food
If you binge, restrict, obsess over food, or feel out of control –
don’t add hunger to the mix.
It only keeps your nervous system in survival mode:
“I’m not getting what I need. I have to stay on high alert.”
The result?
- Stronger cravings
- Sudden overeating
- Guilt → More restriction → Repeat
The solution isn’t eating less.
It’s learning to eat in a way your body can trust.
The bottom line: Your nervous system eats too
You don’t just feed your body. You feed your system.
If you offer safety, rhythm, and warmth –
your body no longer needs to chase satisfaction through food.
When you eat in a way that feels safe and steady –
- Cravings lose their grip.
- Binges become rare or disappear altogether.
- You stabilize – without punishing yourself.
Final Thoughts
The way you eat is more than just a habit – it’s a message to your nervous system.
When you offer warmth, rhythm, and enough nourishment, your body feels safe to receive.
And from that place, cravings lose their urgency.
If eating has been a source of stress, frustration, or shame,
know this: your body isn’t working against you.
It’s trying to protect you – and it will soften when it finally feels held.
Stable, satisfying eating doesn’t start with control.
It starts with connection.
